The Gentle News

Pungent poetry from a potty punkin.

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Entries from April 30th, 2003

Holy Shit

April 30th, 2003 · 1 Comment · Potpourri

I got an e-mail from Linsey A. today. Haven’t heard from her in decades. She’s moving to Galveston with her boy (who just got his PhD) to pursue her PhD. John, Enos… I still have that Confederate Naval Jack.

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Stranger and stranger

April 30th, 2003 · 9 Comments · 9to5, Potpourri

Apparently one of the maintenace guys in here to fix the drywall yesterday drank about 1/4 of B’s bottle of Midori melon licquer. WTF?

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What a novel idea

April 30th, 2003 · 7 Comments · Potpourri

We now have video of the wall leaking. If they still deny it, they are fucking morons.

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Paraphrasing the conversation I just had

April 29th, 2003 · 10 Comments · 9to5, Potpourri

Her: “_____ Apartments, this is Suzie Dirtbag.”
Me: “Hi, Ms. Dirtbag, this is Farris G. I’ve been trying to catch you for some time.”
Her: “Oh yes, I wanted to tell you that we’ve been in your apartment several times this month without telling you, and that every time we were there, the window and ceiling were bone-dry.”
Me: “Oh really. Were you ever in there WHILE it was raining?”
Her: “Um… No, but our maintenance guy was.”
Me: “Yes, I know, B. was there while he watched it leak.”
Her: “Oh, no, he said it didn’t leak at all.”
Me: “You’re kidding me, right?”
Her: “No. We did notice that it was slightly damp after a very heavy rain, but we’ve fixed it. It doesn’t leak anymore.”
Me: “That’s 100% wrong. It was leaking within 5 minutes of the start of the rain last night.”
Her: “No it wasn’t.”
Me: “Yes, it was.”
Her: “Nope, sorry. Anyway, we’ll come out and fix the drywall again so we can tell if it leaked the next time it rains.”
Me: “THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE SAID EVERY TIME IT LEAKED FOR THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS!”
Her: “Yes, but we’re like 99.9999999999999% certain it’s fixed now.”
Me: “I’m 110% certain you’re wrong.”
Her: “Well, we’ll find out next time it rains.”
Me: “Stop saying that! There have already been 12 “next time it rain”s.”
Her: “Ok, well if there’s anything else I can help you with please give me a call.”
Me: “I’m sure there won’t be.”

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Blind, lying, stupid, or all three?

April 29th, 2003 · 5 Comments · 9to5, Potpourri

Apartment manager waited 3 weeks to respond to my letter of termination. Roof has leaked thrice in that time interval. I have reported it each time. Maintenance guy saw it himself at least once that we know of. Certified letter received yesterday from Ms. Bullshit Apartmentmanager says, among other horsecrap, “Summit Roofing had completed all […]

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