Her: “_____ Apartments, this is Suzie Dirtbag.”
Me: “Hi, Ms. Dirtbag, this is Farris G. I’ve been trying to catch you for some time.”
Her: “Oh yes, I wanted to tell you that we’ve been in your apartment several times this month without telling you, and that every time we were there, the window and ceiling were bone-dry.”
Me: “Oh really. Were you ever in there WHILE it was raining?”
Her: “Um… No, but our maintenance guy was.”
Me: “Yes, I know, B. was there while he watched it leak.”
Her: “Oh, no, he said it didn’t leak at all.”
Me: “You’re kidding me, right?”
Her: “No. We did notice that it was slightly damp after a very heavy rain, but we’ve fixed it. It doesn’t leak anymore.”
Me: “That’s 100% wrong. It was leaking within 5 minutes of the start of the rain last night.”
Her: “No it wasn’t.”
Me: “Yes, it was.”
Her: “Nope, sorry. Anyway, we’ll come out and fix the drywall again so we can tell if it leaked the next time it rains.”
Me: “THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE SAID EVERY TIME IT LEAKED FOR THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS!”
Her: “Yes, but we’re like 99.9999999999999% certain it’s fixed now.”
Me: “I’m 110% certain you’re wrong.”
Her: “Well, we’ll find out next time it rains.”
Me: “Stop saying that! There have already been 12 “next time it rain”s.”
Her: “Ok, well if there’s anything else I can help you with please give me a call.”
Me: “I’m sure there won’t be.”