The Gentle News

This weekend was a lot of fun. A lot of stuff was blown up, but Crystal Beach is still there.

Saturday, John and I bought a bottle of Johnny Walker red, and B got a bottle of Citron. We were afraid we wouldn’t drink much of it, but by Sunday evening, I was racing to my Dad’s house to steal more scotch, since I knew he didn’t drink it. The Citron was used quite wisely to make some very potent Jello shots, which were well-loved by all. My cousins and I did our best Bill Cosby impressions as we downed the bones-and-hooves treats.

Sometime Saturday night, John and my brother were sitting on the beach talking and I walked up to join them. As soon as I arrived, some drunk/high 15-year old with no shirt barrelled up and protested: “What y’all say? Y’all say I suck dick?!?”

We all kidn of snickered, but this really pissed off Mr. Puberty. He started shaking a spent Roman Candle package in John’s face. John lost control of his laughter, as it was some very funny shit. The guy left, but he came back a bit later and tried to harass Taylor, who handled himself just fine. My uncle approached him and the kid asked if he could borrow a dollar. Uncle D said, “You’re gonna need more than a dollar to get our of jail. I’m staying right here until a cop shows up, punk.”

You should have seen my mother. She was ready to ruin this asshat’s shit herself.

This weekend, B and I are going to Tyler to see Honchie. I need to plan a roadtrip in the Santa Fe very soon.