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10 Weird Things About Me

April 5th, 2008 · 7 Comments · Potpourri

I’ll attempt to participate in this thingy I saw Josh do. 10 weird things about me.

First off, I’m of the opinion that others are far more qualified to point out weird things about you than yourself. But these are some things I can more or less deduce are odd or not quite ordinary about me:

  1. I can’t/don’t burp. If I were still keeping count, I would probably find that for the entirety of my remembered existence, you could count the number of real belches I’ve issued on all four limbs. The few times I’ve ever attempted to do it, whether for comedic effect or relief of discomfort, I’ve vomited.
  2. This might belong up there with #1, but I have what some would call an irrational fear of (or anxiety over) vomiting and vomit. I shan’t elaborate further.
  3. I’m an atheist who really doesn’t like Richard Dawkins. Maybe this isn’t weird, since I recently discovered that Trey Parker & Matt Stone feel more or less the same way. Not that T&M are normal or ordinary, but what few passionate socio-political opinions can be gleaned from South Park are usually fairly popular ones.
  4. Despite the first clause in #3 (or perhaps in light of the entirety of #3), one of my closest and most trusted friends is an ordained Orthodox Christian priest.
  5. If you were to review the surveillance video of my life, you’d probably find that, aside from my wife, the beings to whom I speak the most are the four-legs-yellow-eyes-whiskers-and-shit variety.
  6. Dwight: Who wrote this, this hysterical one … anal fissures.
    Kevin: That’s a real thing.
    Dwight: Yeah, but no one here has it.
    Kevin: Someone has it.
  7. When possible or practical, I sit down to pee.
  8. I loved mayo on french fries long before Pulp Fiction. I actually don’t think this one is weird. I got it from my Dad, which is not to say my Dad isn’t weird. It’s just food. And they taste good together.
  9. I don’t like Led Zeppelin.
  10. If I weren’t a Cylon, and I were somehow tipped off that Tigh, Tyrol, Anders and Tory were cylons, I would kill them. Without hesitation. This is why I don’t like the show and cannot enjoy it. Every character who has ever hesitated to destroy a man-made, faulty, genocidal machine because of any bullshit morals or sense of humanity is fucking retarded and not believable.
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