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Part V: The Poetry

May 27th, 2009 · No Comments · Potpourri

I’ve never deleted stuff from a blog or online texty-thingee unless it was actually causing someone undue harm. I’ve been causing someone undue harm recently, but I’m also not the type to delete myself. I’m an editor. I fix things to the best of my ability, but once it’s published I don’t have the power to take the urine out of the pool.

Much like the dumb shows and movies I like to watch, repeated readings of my writings and those of the people I love give me a much better understanding of just how important the scribe is to me.

To the one who knows: Above all else I agree that people have a tendency to throw shit back in your face a lot. I don’t know why that is, and I wish I did. So many people find it too easy to continually argue with you in a manner that reinforces the feeling that your point of view is invalid. I cannot be a part of that anymore. I will always be honest with you, but I will never again continue to bandy the ball around the fire beyond the point at which I realize I’m just squirting gasoline on it. And my visit with the Wizard has given me a shiny new crown to remind me that it’s easy to stand up and roar for something important to you.

We’ve always disagreed on things, even fundamental things, but that’s absolutely no reason for me to keep myself from evolving beyond my inability to understand you and support you in the ways a lover and friend should. That’s my job from this day forth.

I’ve spent at least a year hacking away, in my sleep, at the pedestal I put you on long ago. You fell off a few times, and I just threw you right back up there and picked up my axe again. Instead, I should have been climbing, hoping to get to the top in time, and with enough strength left, to bring you back down where I found you so that we could start building a more appropriate structure to grow on together.

I still don’t know what that structure is, but it’s something far less boring and demeaning than a stone display column. Something more fitting of a woman who can take care of herself, and a girl who doesn’t necessarily always need or want to.

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