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A Real Apology, Not An Open One

January 4th, 2010 · 2 Comments · Potpourri

It has been brought to my attention by at least three people for whom I care very much that at least that number of people took offense to this post. Furthermore, I was subsequently (and perhaps irrationally) offended myself by the offending phrase in actual conversation.

If you were offended by the phrase in specific (or the post in general) and kept quiet about it because you felt I would irrationally fire back at you, then to you, I am sorry. Truly and sincerely sorry for offending you so much as to silence you before even noticing your tears.

If you are a member of my family, were offended by the phrase, and discussed it with another member of my family, then shame on me for not putting family first. Family is number one. To you, I am very sorry for putting you in a position where you were too hurt or confused to speak to me directly about it.

To B, my wife, my one and only, my companion, my favorite, I am most sorry. Sorry I hurt you through writing. Sorry I hurt you through yelling. Sorry I hurt you through confusing. Sorry I hurt you through whatever means I have, and then some. You are number one. You are family.

To those of you who read it and expressed to me your sorrow over the frustration, thank you for the well-wishes and prayers, but please join me in cheering up. It was never my intention to sadden, disgust, or offend anyone. The epithet was directed at mostly-inanimate objects of humankind’s creation: the Internet, money, music, etc. All the little things I need but can’t always have as much as I want.

For those who still do not know, both B and I have, since that post, become employed full-time. I am still retaining clients, and hope to someday soon go back to self-employment on a more permanent basis. But, first things first. I must take care of (and stick up for) my family. When there’s time enough for passion, I will rejoin that quest. For now, I’m doing my best to provide what I can. B is not any more happy with her employment status as I am with mine, but we are both working to make certain we do not miss any opportunity. We are helping each other stay strong in the face of each damned toad that says, “Sorry, Mario, but the princess is in another castle.”

And we love each other. All of it. If you don’t like that, then… well, I won’t say it. I won’t even think it. What I will think/say is this:

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let’s make this one really cook.

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