The Gentle News

Would you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?

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Entries Tagged as 'Stories'


August 18th, 2011 · No Comments · 9to5, Stories

My house, like many other houses in my plastic, suburban neighborhood, sits on a subtle hill of poorly-laid topsoil in such a way that overwatering my own lawn results in moistening the pavement of the back alley and reinforcing the moisture at the base of my neighbor’s house’s hill-bottom. Unfortunately, that neighbor doesn’t overwater, so […]

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This Holiday Inn used to be a Radisson

July 13th, 2010 · 122 Comments · Potpourri, Stories

This hotel is in the final stages of renovation after being purchased from Radisson. The marquee on the side of the building just below the roof looks as if it has been there for years, but I know based on the SSID of the Wireless LAN (and the gregarious installer who warned me that he […]

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The thermally activated philosophy mug

June 8th, 2010 · 53 Comments · Potpourri, Stories

The cute text on the coffee mug was designed to change from “Half-full” to “Half-empty” when the coffee fell below the median line in the ceramic (or when the coffee cooled to an undrinkable temperature). Unfortunately, the misanthropic manufacturing manager did not see eye to eye with the designer from marketing. He reversed the order […]

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A Transcript Of A Future That Already Happened

April 10th, 2010 · 1 Comment · Stories

When your mortal coil is sufficiently shuffled and you stand in judgment by that force that once drove you to choose, right or wrong, how you treat the other entities in your custodial care, this is the recording you will review to decide for yourself whether you reach the final destination you desire. You will […]

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The Third Option

November 23rd, 2009 · No Comments · Stories

George was a simple man, which is not to say that he was an unintelligent one. On the contrary, he knew quite well that he was overqualified for the job he had served for ten short years. His IQ was much higher than the average blue collar schmuck, but he enjoyed the freedom of a […]

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